"Put an Altoid in your mouth. Now spit it out and stop trying to hack communication with gimmicks and props.
Always assume your public groping is far less subtle than you think it is.
Drive men and women and people who identify as gender neutral absolutely wild by paying attention to them and what they’re enjoying, like they’re an individual you are attracted to.
Think of your partners’ genitals as genitals. They are not tennis balls, flowers, butterflies, or meat.
Sext each other like the NSA is watching and you want to put on a fantastic show.
Mixing food with sex can be fun. It can also cause a yeast infection. Weigh the risks.
Trying too hard is really sexy, so make sure to devote two hours a week to memorizing and practicing complex new sexual routines.
If you feel like your partner is losing interest or hiding things from you, skip the cyber-stalking and douse yourself Carrie-style in chocolate syrup.
Remember that testicles, earlobes, labia, and eyelids are delicate. If you’re going to yank, bite, pull, or abuse any of these body parts with a fork, proceed with caution and talk about it first.
There’s a difference between having sex with your partner and having sex at them. Do the first one.”
I have looked at you
in millions of ways and
I have loved you in each.